Once upon a time there lived a magical gaming pixie who loved nothing more than to challenge those who dwelt in the land of Forumania to great feats of skill and perserverance. The pixie herself was a formidable opponent, topping every leaderboard as far as the eye could see.
In the castle of “Chitchat Thread” lived a princess who learned of the pixie’s challenge from the royal court jester who had actually managed to best some of the pixie’s scores. Inspired by the lowly jester’s efforts the princess, fed up of waiting for her handsome prince to arrive, decided that she would venture out into the dangerous realm of Xbox LIVE to take on the pixie’s challenge. After days of gruelling torment, the princess finally clawed her way to the top of the Hexic HD leaderboard. So proud was she of her triumph she raced back to the castle and informed everyone there of her success.
The jester smiled and congratulated the princess, seemingly unperturbed by his defeat. But, unbeknown to the inhabitants of Forumania, something sinister was brewing inside the jester’s soul, something so evil that it would shake the land for all time.
A few days later, while the princess was amusing herself by shooting peasants in one of the castle’s three arenas shaped like halos she recieved a message of apology from the jester. She knew instantly what had happened and raced to the Hexic scoreboard only to find that the jester had summoned the power of not one, not three but six enchanted black pearls completely destroying her lead.
“Pooh!” “Bah!” exclaimed the princess and would have carried on exclaiming such things had it not been for the appearance of a dark knight. The bold and brave dark knight boastfully challenged the jester to a display of speed, a race to the very tip of the highest mountain in the kingdom, Mount Mumbo. The dark knight let it be known to all that he would “Bring the PAIN!”
For days the two dueled as the people looked on, anxiously awaiting any news. The dark knight was confident to say the least as he claimed victory time and time again until, suddenly, quite unexpectedly, the dark knight fell. “Get up!!!” the crowds roared but the dark knight could not go on, vanquished was he for the jester had achieved what had been believed by the dark knight to be unachievable, a time below 8 minutes, the true number of the beast – 7:55
As the jester laughed and mockingly played on his banjo the dark knight could not contain his fury, angrily warning the jester that the battle was far from over. The fighting escalated. The people caught up in the hysteria spilled out onto the streets, becoming some kind of “Street Fighters”. Distraught the Princess cried out to the King and Queen to stop the madness but they did not. The King used the strife for his own profit, using his forging knowledge to create powerful fighting sticks imbued with Dark Hadou and the Queen could not help as she was about to embark on a perilous journey through the vast wastelands of Forumania. No one cared anymore who fought who. Friends and strangers turned on each other, harnessing the powers of evil to wield the elements and perfect flamboyant acrobactic movements, each hoping for the glory and honour of victory.
The dark knight and the jester have yet to face each other again. Many will fall at the hands of the two foes but the day is approaching when their paths will cross. Only time will tell who will emerge unscathed from the experience and claim the title of “Ready Up Street Fighter Champion”.
Amidst the chaos, one may spot a familiar face. With a smile, small but cheeky, watching the events unfold. Under the wise tutilage of a Street Fighting guru the magic gaming pixie is honing her talents. It is rumoured that she may be the one, the one to defeat the jester, to silence the dark knight and restore order to the once peaceful land of Forumania.
Cards adapted from the works of the excellent Jessica Peffer
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