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EMOtional Gaming
By Anthony Nicholson
October 17, 2008

Gaming for Emos or whatever you’d like to call it is severely undersaturated. And let’s be honest, if there’s an unsaturated market in the gaming industry, I think we all could make a pretty penny by banding our heads together and bleeding (maybe pun intended) that market dry! To start the long process of development, however, one must first create their (em)opus from the story.

So what about the main character?

Well first he has to hate everything about the world. I can honestly say I’ve never seen that sort of character in a game. He will naturally have to save the world with his friends, though he will mainly spend his time wondering why he (and he alone) has to save the world. “Why can’t someone else do it?” is what he’ll ask.

And the story?

This is a unique story that can only lead to many clones of our amazing game signifying our success and also creating a gigantic bucket of cash (Pounds, not Dollars or Euros). The evil (rich) villain tries to take over the world with shrewd politics and a personal army the size of China, yet the character will take out as many as six (depending on how many fights you run away from) and he will still make it to the end. We don’t want to make it too hard, these kids are depressed enough as it is! Someone has to die too. How about the hot girl who fancies the lead Hemo (Hero/Emo)? And naturally he only loves her at the end when she’s dead.

What about aesthetics?

Dress the characters in black, make them all sexually ambiguous and put some My Chemical Romance and Hikaru Utada in the soundtrack.

...Sometimes Emo can go wrong...

BILLIONS AWAIT YOU.

15 Responses to “EMOtional Gaming”

  1. Tony

    Why Sonic? Are you saying he’s emo or that he’s sexually ambiguous?

    Although, with those heels he may well be – whatever happened to his sneakers?

  2. Skill

    Prince of Persia, from Warrior Within onwards.
    FFVII obviously. And VIII.
    Lost Odyssey’s pretty miserable, sorry I mean emo.

    Lemmings, they make suicide seem cool. :) Love Lemmings <3

    Is Link emo?

    One of the Jak and Daxter’s. The one were Jak had been imprisoned and tortured for years, and then went all wobbly.

    Games like Fahrenheit and Dreamfall can be pretty emo at times.

    And ofcourse Puyo Pop.
    Those beans drive me to a very emo way of thinking every time. :(

  3. Dan

    Oh Tony, that’s not Sonic you n00bster. That’s Shadow, he’s ’street’ and has a gun and is in no way a racial stereotype.

  4. Tony

    Oh. Can you tell I gave up on Sonic games once they went 3D?

  5. Emily

    Shadow looks a bit too ‘bling’ to be an emo. If they ditch the gold bands and make one of those spikes cover his eyes so he can’t see where he’s going, then your onto a ‘winner’.

    I’m thinking FFXIII looks a little on the emo-side, purely because nearly everyone has a side parting which covers one of their eyes, luckily they are also reasonably colourful. :)

  6. Eleanor

    Poyu pop is not EMO! How dare you.

    Funky blog Nick :)

  7. Skill

    How dare I? :(

    Oh dear, it seems I’ve either offended her anti-Puyo Pop emo-sensibilities or she’s an anti-emo Puyo Pop fangirl.
    Either way, *sighs*, in trouble again. :(

    I mean, should I offer her a black rose thats begun to wilt, or would I be better off with a bag of jelly beans? There’s just no way to know!

    Mind you, everybody knows Puyo Pop is teh emo-ist. Also Puzzle Bobble and some versions of Tetris.
    Its common knowledge.
    *hides behind sofa*

  8. Tony

    I used to know lots of goths at university. The liked to play Connect 4 in the bar. And a surprisingly large number of them liked disco.

  9. Jamesbuc

    Goths are great fun to be around :)

    Emo’s on the other hand… No chance there of any fun.

    Is it bizzare that I actually LIKE the ‘Shadow the Hedgehog’ game?

  10. Solarflair

    Jen from the excellent and massively overlooked ‘Primal’ was a bit of a goth. But she was a bit too focused, though. And her sense of humour was too good. And she had people who actually cared about her. And she disliked cold weather and liked beaches. And she seemed to have taken care of herself physically. And she was a strong survivalist type.

    And the game didn’t make BILLIONS!!!

  11. Solarflair

    Anon = Solarflair :(

  12. Martin

    Did you hear about the Emo lawn?

    It cuts itself!

    Sorry ;)

  13. Emo

    I really think so too. I have been poking around the internet for a while this week, and its kinda hard to find something entertaining to read on blogs=] Maybe thats because there are too many of those around =) But your site actually keeps catching my attention=) Great posts, and cool design ^__^. Ill be sure to give it more time now :P

  14. Emo

    +1 person loved this

  15. 5 more

    ^^^ was quite right

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