September 4, 2008
Working the Net
Michael wrote this at 3:20 pm:
A wise man once wrote… no, maybe not a man at all, maybe a woman, maybe even a combination of the two so… a wise person, or people, once wrote “They say the family of the 21st century is made up of friends, not relatives”. With at least one cynical voice in there, they added “Then again, maybe that’s just bollocks”.
Now, I’ve been wondering about such things as how much you can know someone that you’ll likely never meet in the flesh, how much stock there is in the word “friend” in virtual terms. Personally, whether on Xbox Live or the myriad of social networks that have sprung up, I tend to not differentiate between those I have grown to know virtually and those I know in person and my behaviour pretty much reflects that, if I have even a passing familiarity, that’s it. Passing familiarity can take a fair while for me, let me tell you! As I understand it, that’s how these things work in the real world; you meet some folks through, say, a common interest, you get to know them a bit and then it invariably snowballs. No? Part of that is keeping in regular contact, I thought. Now, apparently that is occasionally seen as a bit weird in what some describe as the whimsical world of ‘teh interwebs’.
I don’t think - in the likes of FaceBook, MySpace, Bebo and beyond into the realms of Xbox Live, Second Life, other game worlds - that a distinction can really be made. To call it whimsical seems a cop-out, it’s just another form of interaction; the rules don’t change where you can be acquainted with someone in a different hemisphere. The fact that there are so many social networks speaks volumes and they all say one thing, “people are the same”. They grow to know, to form bonds, sometimes to even get married. A prime example I know of is a bunch of people banding together to buy an Xbox 360 and some games (or even just giving away some old games) for a thoroughly nice bloke. Someone who they perhaps didn’t know by their real name, merely by an alias. That’s gamers, that is, and I count myself lucky to know them. I’ve observed that many of my gaming peers have similar interests, tastes in films, etc. Curiously, I’ve also met the odd person who stands out and I find such individuals particularly, hmm, intriguing?
As Laura, rather astutely, put it “When I first started feeling alienated by my gaming passion, I turned to the place that most outcasts turn to find others like them - the Internet.” Gaming has been a huge part of my life for years and, being a fairly typical geek, I’ve never been very socially adept. What can I say, stereotypes often hold a grain of truth. Time was I’d be the quiet one looking intently at the ground and I don’t mind telling you that. But these days I can, for example, look people - complete strangers - in the eye with what, to me, is surprising ease and I can honestly say I believe knowing there’s a world of fellow gamers out there is a significant part of the reason for that change in me. So, far as I’m concerned, the family of the 21st century is made up of friends and relatives. I’m no cynic.
The world doesn’t just disappear when you close your eyes go online. Does it?
September 4th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
“The world doesn’t just disappear when you close your eyes go online. Does it?”
Nope, but its like stepping through what looks like an innocent Wardrobe…a whole new world awaits.
September 4th, 2008 at 5:58 pm
That’s a great picture. It’s scarily accurate in a way.
I can imagine myself living on one of those little islands in Blogipelago, near Facebook. It’s at the opposite end of the map from WoW - as I’ve never played it!
September 5th, 2008 at 10:12 am
I actually met my partner of five years on the net and talk to more folks online than I do in the real world as I sadly don’t get out much. I don’t know if I know anyone well enough to class them as friends, maybe it doesn’t feel as real if it isn’t a flesh thing but I suppose that is down to a slightly inflexible way of looking at it :) It is certainly a good start though, especially for those of us who aren’t the greatest socially and beng a part of these communities bolsters confidence.
Great post Michael :)
September 5th, 2008 at 11:09 am
Ben - I don’t put much stock in comparing it to a Christ allegory. More The Magician’s Nephew maybe.
Emily - Yeah, it really is! Took me an absolute age to find the bloody thing as well…
Lorna - Thank you. Some of my closest friends happen to be people I’ve not met in the flesh, including a few I’ve had going on maybe ten years now. I do find it to be a double-edged sword though.
September 5th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
I much prefer online friends, My real life friends drive me crazy sometimes, I suppose it’s just cause I’m lazy and a total bitch at the moment but I just can’t be arsed with listening to people’s relationship stuff and holiday plans anymore, I want to talk about gaming and that’s quite difficult to do when most of the people I know are hairdressers , religious family members and other Mothers at my kids school. I wish I could put some of them on a block list!!
:)
September 5th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Ah, well, I am very good at filtering out conversation and general noise when I’m, say, thinking or, um, daydreaming… you know on the telly when you have people going on at someone for, oh, two minutes or so only for the person they’re talking at to then go “Sorry, what was that?” or something? That person is ME! *laughs*