I’ve got to admit, I’m a little bit gay for Lara Croft. Let me take off my women’s rights within computer games hat for a minute, and have a chat to you about my love affair for that busty brunette beauty.

Those who know me well, will know I’m a bit of a bra-burner. I like to blither on about how the various media’s portrayal of women is appalling, inaccurate, and demeaning. I especially like to blither on about women in the computer games industry, or at least, how they are portrayed. I’m sure Ready Up will cop one of my full blown rants at some point in the future, but for now I’m filling you in on the basics. I’m known for getting up on my soap-box and moaning about how I can’t seem to get a T-shirt I like in my size, how computer game store employees misjudge me, and about how the industry seems to think I want to play Singstar. So after hearing this, you may think it’s quite a contradiction that I like Lara, Nay, love Lara!
My first console was a PlayStation One. There had been other consoles in the household when my brothers lived at home, but the PlayStation was mine. My Dad had bought it for me as a gift to nurture my ever increasing love of games, with it he purchased me the original Tomb Raider to play. So, at the tender age of something between about 7 and 10 (forgive me, I don’t remember which year it was I got my PS1!) I picked up my first very own pad, and played.

When I was little, I wanted to be an archaeologist (hence Tomb Raider being chosen!), so Lara was everything I could have wanted to be at that age. Smart, pretty, feisty and into running around the remnants of ancient civilisations. If this wasn’t awesome enough, I could control her. Lara was my dream. I followed her adventures loyally right up to Last Revelation, I would have followed beyond but she started hopping over onto other formats and I didn’t own a PS2 until quite late in it’s existence.
When I got my PS2, I played through the newer games. While I still enjoyed them, I found they just weren’t in keeping with Lara’s style. I picked up Tomb Raider:Anniversary last year when it came out and loved it. Despite the quick time events (grr) it seems I’m willing to forgive Lara for quite a lot. I’ve forgiven Lara for her Goth phase in Angel of Darkness. Her oddly shaped jaw in Legend. I love Lara and in my eyes it seems she can do no wrong (really).
So you can imagine how excited I was when Tomb Raider:Underworld was announced. I’m extremely excited for Lara’s hop onto the PS3 (It will also be available for 360, Wii, DS, PS2 and PC). I will admit, Lara’s looking a bit strange nowadays, I feel she looked best in her earlier times (those of your familiar with the “epic boobs” macro will probably understand) and I still think Angelina Jolie was exactly how I thought Lara would look, but that’s me nit picking. With only 6 days until the release of the first Official trailer for Underworld, and by the sounds of it only 4 months until release, I feel this is the time for me to play through all my copies of Tomb Raider again. My mission to better my gamerscore will be taking a back-seat for the next few months I feel, to once again, prepare myself for the next instalment of Tomb Raiding fun.

I thoroughly recommend for those of you who haven’t already done so to check out the official Underworld site. The screenshots and concept art are looking simply stunning, and I’ve got to admit I’m having my breath taken away by the gorgeous landscapes. I do plan to have another write about the actual plot of Underworld, but I’m reserving that for after the trailer comes out! But anyway, I had best start polishing my desert eagle and by the looks of the cover art, see if I can find Lara a sponge.







13 responses to “A-Lara-Spelunking!”

  1. Dan avatar

    [sexism mode: on]
    I wouldn’t mind giving Lara a sponge bath! Wooo!!
    [sexism mode: off]

  2. Alex avatar

    Hahahah, Not before me you won’t! (I’m not gay, honest!)

  3. Simes avatar

    I think I prefer the modern Lara. She’s much less angular.

  4. Nick avatar

    I’m gay for Lara Croft too!

  5. Zanveth avatar

    *Insert memories of Tomb raider 1, a set of stairs in Lara’s mansion, and a swan dive off of them, resulting in a broken neck*

    The simplest things and all that.

  6. Laura avatar

    Lara Rocks!!! Who would have thought, when she first arrived on the scene that there would have been anything more to her than the giant boobies. Brains, body, guns, the accent I’d go gay for her too, she’s the perfect woman!

  7. Alex avatar

    I’m glad it’s not just me then! ;D
    I’m gonna have to get Legend for the 360 today, so i can at least pretend i’m still working on my gamerscore! ;D

  8. City avatar

    I adore Lara, she is brilliant, I did almost loose faith of AoD but playing through legends was fantasic (all pre-ordered and brought on release day too, with special packaging and bells and whistles), recently ive been going back to my favourite one, the 3rd one, i just love the locations, especially the london levels…

    Ah Lara..

  9. Tim avatar

    Those pyramid boobs on the early Lara were amazing, I imagine she’d lactate like an Egyptian!

  10. Zanveth avatar

    @ Tim – or at least act as a landing pad for a gould spaceship Stargate style.

  11. Emily avatar

    I’ve said it before, but I do wish they’d bring back the uber-long plait, it was very satisfying to watch it wave around. I’m also hoping Underworld isn’t going to be all dark and gloomy, and we get to see some tropical sunshine! 🙂
    Less enimies, more exploring.. and I’ll be very happy.

  12. Alex avatar

    I’ve gotta say i agree on the hair front. I loved her braid! =D

  13. Martin avatar

    Tomb Raider set a bench mark on the PS1 that was rarely beaten, it was the first (next-gen) game that I took people to my TV to watch bits, the waterfall dive was the best thing I had seen. There, managed that reply without mentioning Angelina Jolie…….damn it!

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