So I got myself the Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix beta last week, via the rather neat top-down blaster Wolf of the Battlefield: Commando 3. It’s a simple online beta; choose either Ken or Ryu and slug it out on a single stage against other players over Live. It’s got a nice graphical style and a killer remixed soundtrack from the very talented guys and gals at OverClocked ReMix.

Excitedly, I fired it up and started taking on chumps, however, my excitement was pretty short-lived. See, the game itself is brilliant and I honestly can’t wait for the full release in September, but my word! – The 360’s d-pad and analogue sticks are not a good fit for 2D scrappers. In my excitement over the beta, I forgot the similar woes I had with Fatal Fury Special, which i also downloaded off XBLA.

Pulling of a Hadoken is fine now after a bit of adjustment (and much swearing), I’ve gotten over that, but as my favourite character is Ken, I need to be able to pull of Shoryukens easily, which is absolutely infuriating here. There’s nothing worse than losing to the very cheap ‘high-kick, low-kick’ combo used by the cheesemongers out there, just because you were rolling the analogue stick like crazy trying to pull of the one crucial move that would have cemented victory.

This got me thinking about other control woes gaming has seen over the years and so, I’ve complied a little list of controller mishaps you may or may not have come across yourself…

Wii Woes – Picture the scene: You waited months, I mean frickin’ months in line at your local game store to get your anxious mitts on a Wii, only to take it home in a blind rush, tear open the shiny white packaging and hook the bugger up. You tantalisingly press the power button and in a blase of glory the dashboard fades into view…

Then nothing, no cursor, no response. What happened!? Surely I, a gamer who knows everything about consoles should be able to hook up and play a mere console without so much as a glance at the user manual?Noooo!

The nightmare of parents everywhere on christmas day

Just to clarify, I’m not talking as me here. I’m talking about the hundred or so customers who bought the console while I worked in games retail, took the machine home, only to return, absolutely raging because I had apparently sold them a duff machine.

‘Did you calibrate the Wiimote?’


‘Well then…”

Ruddy Hell! What? Six Buttons!? – This next one did happen to me and I’m hoping some readers can relate so I don’t feel stupid. I remember when I was a bit younger rushing out to buy several new Mega Drive games with my pocket money. Mortal Kombat 3 was one of them (WITH parental consent I may add!). What I didn’t realise in my niavity was that it needed a six-button joypad to play properly – oh the upset that cause in my house that day :/

Simply comprehending that a controller could have so many buttons back then was dangerous thinking! Serves me right for not looking at the back of the box properly.

Good Vibrations? – A Sony console featuring joypads without a rumble feature? If that happens I’ll eat my ha- oh wait….

Stare at it all you want buddy, that thing aint moving on its own!

Anyone else got any controller woes they can think of? – A crap design, had your batteries run out at a crucial moment? Let’s have it! 😀